Very often, in random places and at random times, I find myself having full on conversations in my head. Not with myself, mind you, but with someone I anticipate speaking with at some future date or, even more common, someone I wish I had the courage to speak to but don’t.
These conversations are absolutely two sided because in my head I’m anticipating what their side of the conversation would sound like. For instance, I’ll think of something my partner would likely say about what I’m eating and I’ll respond to that statement internally which is followed up by one of her common responses or sometimes I simply hear her sigh of resigned disapproval. There you go! Unpleasant conversation had and I didn’t even need her around to have it.
This actually helps me in a lot cases where she or someone else has irritated me or hurt my feelings and instead of instigating an unpleasant conversation about my feelings that may likely be tossed back at me one day in the not so distant future I can vent and sort through their probable excuses or apologies without ever involving the other party.
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person who does this, or that’s what I choose to believe so I don’t feel completely bonkers.
There’s only one drawback to this quirky little habit as I rapidly approach my 50s. Sometimes I forget that this detailed thing we discussed didn’t ACTUALLY involve them. I will start a sentence like, “oh, and one more thing about _______” because I suddenly had a relevant additional thought on the topic “we” previously “talked” about and the look I get is just enough to remind me that I’m maybe, just a tiny bit, weird.
This post is brought to you due to the full conversation I just had while using the bathroom, alone, about the necessity of buying a particular brand of cat food even though it’s a little more expensive. I’m pretty sure I made my point.
The Messy Mind of Monique Pearson 
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